mybiographypart3
part 3 continued from part 2 http://www.mybiograp2.blogspot.com
more than ever before.
i
needed
something
more than the born again religion id lived w. all my life. no church people
could
answer my questions to my satisfaction. but these born again
people believe one should see the truth of their interp of the bible & even if theyre miserable w. it should hang in there
so they dont go to hell. what if they dont have the right interp. i believe religion should liberate.while bornagains talk of the freedom that is in christ they tend to be extremely legalistic. theres one preacher who teaches against legalism bob george & he is routinely reviled by the others. unfortunately bob does lose his cool when a christian admits to adultery. but whos perfect. admittedly it is hard for us mean spirited humans to say as long as we identify w. christ we must be tolerant of our own failures as well as those of others. the bornagain phenom is a sort of fascism. if only they could get rid of their absolutism. if they could walk on water they could claim absolute truth. there are 12 step programs for people who want to get out of bornagain. not surprising given that troubled people are attracted to anything that claims to have all the important answers. also i didnt join a church because i wouldve had to confess my gayness & then wouldve come the 'ive a nice young lady id like you to meet'.
christians you dont have to be clueless. itd be better if ye were leading the world instead of trying to catch up w. it. its not written in the bible that you have to be married or that you have to be clueless. singleness is held as an ideal in the nt. the men of sodom are held higher by jc than the
people of many a town such as chorazin that he ministered to. but you wont hear sermons on staying single or
the better spiritual condition of sodom than some of jc's contemporary towns. christians are too fond of considering gays as the ultimate sinners. to a gay marriage just adds the
problem of doing something you dont really want to do (getting married to a member of the opposite sex) to the problem of being sexually attracted to ones own sex. imo the answer is
to live alone. just cool it & look at the downs of the gay life. too much pain & virtually no gain. in the absence of getting any help from 'christs body' the church (they were pathetic in interpreting heb 10 26 for me) i felt
deserted by god. never again would i trust a church. i feel superior to the church in my religious knowledge. my church is the world. my spiritual guide is myself. i am god. one of the lessons of the book revelation is that orgs are bestial. heb 10 26 (the lie at
heathrow & the homosexuality) was getting me
deprest. id look for increasingly strict c'n
sects in order to give myself the pure c'n feeling. changing sects can be an addiction. but the homo'y would always get in my way. the metropolitan community church is a gay fundamentalist church but i didnt find credibility there.
there was no intellectual brilliance which is aaaaaaall that counts w. me. w. parents like mine its
a wonder i didnt become a mass or
serial murderer. once james said why cant our family be like the leave it to beaver family. to me this comment is wildly funny. james had a nazi father a suicidal mother & a gay brother.
what kind of family did he expect. he shouldve expected the adams family or the
of mental disease & i think we all have at least touches of all the recognised mental diseases. each of these diseases seems to morph into each of the others. i thought cs was beyond my ability to comprehend so id never bothered to figure out christian science. once i started
i did nothing but work on it for 6 mo.
its easy to figure out. the hard part is to unlearn all the orthodox interpretations of the bible & let your heart love this new way of thinking/living. it changed my life. i didnt worry
anymore abt having gone so far away from
god that god would not let me
come back. god was me! mrs.eddy taught that only the individual can keep itself from
salvation. when we read of the impardonable sin of calling the works of god the works of the devil it means that god will no longer strive w. us. but we can still come to god by our own efforts. cs'ts say god is soul & theres only one soul extant. so we are god. mrs. eddy didnt want to say this for in her day she wouldve been accused of blasphemy. so she played it safe & said
were children of god. i dont like this
distancing myself from god. i dont want to remain a child
for the rest of eternity. the most powerful idea of all is that we are god. nothing can go wrong ultimately. some famous cs's (they didnt all join the church aand some left after they were members) are joan crawford, doris day, milton berle, jimmy stewart, albert einstein (a spinozist admirer of cs), andy williams, paul newman (raised in it but too dumb to appreciate it), carol channing, mary pickford
(americas sweetheart who in her retirement drank a fifth of scotch & read her bible every day), ginger rogers, lady nancy astor, lord lothian, sen. percy & judge wm. webster who was
both fbi & cia director & considered the straightest arrow in dc at the time a dubious distinction. advaita (udwet) teaches we ARE god. unfortunately the sequesterer of this idea from the vedas shankara wasnt consistent in his exposition & advaitins today are even
worse in their interps. there are advaitins in
the beautiful truth of udwet & live by it. trust not the arm of flesh. people tend to beat good ideas into something ugly. its the piggish nature of man. yet shankara was reputed to have done miracles. many people think that if we call ourselves god were crazy. its just the opposite. if we think of
ourselves as mere mortals we are schizophrenic/crazy. w. the god mind weve access to the full mind of god. to think we are mere animals divides us from the rest of the universe. the
animal & low humanity thinks it is confined to the space of its body. how can the universe have more than one mind. it wouldnt hold together. one who thinks oneself is uniquely god is
insane.i dont know of any such people. but if one thinks the whole universe is god one is quite sane. saner than anyone else. the world is a zoom device. the whole world can be shrunk into no size. wearegod is the only way to be sane. insanity always entails discord. i
think c. science delivered me from a nb. why is it that born agains think that they should live
& die being sick & that there is nothing wrong w. this. 'if any among you is sick call the elders'. this means we are not to live as sicklings. its the rc heresy that we are to patiently
bear sicknesses & then we may be qualified for sainthood. can you show me any saints of the bible who bore sickness patiently. id already had the c.science type of healing from 30
ys of bad
chronic eczema that doctors in
& the us couldnt heal. already ive covered this. my bro. & his wife had been married 10 ys
& badly wanted a child & tried to have one for a long time. in a cs context i
read in job
'you shall
declare a thing & it shall be so'. to my mother i declared that theyd have
a child in 9 mo & there was one, david.
cs
is slightly modified advaita hinduism used to interpret the bible. its a
link between c'y & h'm. but the hindu god brahman is a sleeping god who dreams the universe into existence or sometimes thought of as the essence of everything. if i want to be the aggressive jehovah of the bible i am that. if i want to be passive im the essence of everything god. there are only 3 gems in the hindu dungheap. that we are
god reincarnation & the akashic record. the ar is the record of the universe including each event in our lives. i like this because i want my difficulties memorialised so i can refer back to them & take pleasure in having reached salvation. as for reincarnation 70 or so ys isnt
enough to get our thoughts in order unless we have a traumatic conversion where our god nature takes direct control of us. few experience this & i imagine theyre under great stress like
before my cs study id come
under the
influence of jewish christianity
(worldwide
church of god) & in n.o. & st.
louis county followed as many
old testament laws as i
could
including growing a beard. in
the local police dept this aroused
suspicion that i might be a druggie. it was a hot town policewise. the blacks were moving in & the presbyterian town burghers were on red alert. another fellow was under heavy police surveillance & in his case harrassment & police vandalism. he spoke of suing them & thought he might be on 60 minutes.
the police followed me home twice. at one of these occasions i was questioned. i freaked out. i called the american civil liberties union & they gave me good advice. they said go to the local police station & ask them why they have me under surveillance. this i did & it helpt me
psychologically. to me the aclu is a communist op but i was glad for their help. i had decided to move
to florida (i dont rely on the police or any authorities to do me good...its impossible for me to trust anyone given the parents i had) which
caused my bro. to sell
his house in which we were
living in in a st. louis
suburb. i guess he thought mom shouldnt be living alone this was the end of my final cohabitation w.
mom. i visited her only twice after
that. in 1991 two ys before she died & in 1993 when she died.
after i left she, the broken reed, went
to look after a dying woman from her church & i went to
fl. i stayed there only 1.5 ys. i couldnt take the barking & the train horns (the trains i believe are on the east coast of fl only)
that i
heard constantly. people (mainly elderly) who live in the highrises on the shore arent allowed to have dogs but they can still hear the train horns. most of them are hard of hearing so it doesnt matter.
old people can hear but we are just too lazy to pay attention & we hear only what we want to hear. we are constantly bothered by the impertinence of noise. we get so tired of human voices giving us orders. in fort lauderdale i met a delightful reorganised mormon man who used the
biblical verse 'at his (gods) right hand are
pleasures
forever more' as a justification for masturbation. after having had enough of fl. in 1984 i
went to
stepping stone for
which had already turned me
down 4 times. in hi they turned
me down a 5th time.
imo oz had got tired of yanks staying there
only a short time &
complaining abt the backwardness of the place. so they changed the migra policy. now one has to either be a
businessman w. money or a professional to get
in. so i got mad at oz. in oz they call yanks seppos. thats code for septic tanks. any country that calls me such is a place i dont want to visit. ive rationalised my whole oz failure. in 1976 there was
the gough whitlam affair
which soured us/oz dealings and caused me to boycott
oz even for travel when i was in
i lived on all 4 of
islands & in
for 3 months. i was hoping i
could live in
its nearly impossible to get privacy in a 3rd
world country. one is supposed to muck in w. all the others in those places
& show what a good party boy one is. in
theyre either anglo or jewish americans. her name was candy beck. she was a mental patient (how im attracted to them! theres one in hotsprings id like to see more of). she believed that the fashion & rock industry were the bad guys & that she & others like
her were defenders against such. her funniest remark was 'i once read the bible & couldnt make any sense out of it'. id been studying the book most of my life. maybe candys idea was a good reason for not bothering w. it. but i love the way the bible portrays rightness in such a stark way.the bibles basic purpose is to make us feel very uncomfortable so that we seek salvation w. all our hearts. candys mother was a mitchell & at one time
the 7th richest woman in
pad in hi & once had an argument w. juans mom. candys mom
said to juans mom god will punish you for this. candy
died in 07. she was under a court order to take depot injections once a mo. to calm her down. look what they do to the prophets! candy had a good sense of right & wrong. perhaps thats what did her in. she saw too much evil in the world & it overwhelmed her. juan is a buddhist. he rules out good & bad in people. they were an odd couple. if she comes back shell have to be a lot tougher than she was last time.
her common law husband was juan dux who is still a friend of mine. another turn on was gail greer in the eckankar org in
i dont think she worked a day in her life. one of her walls was covered in metaphysical books. one day at an eck convention she said shed had enough of eck & didnt want to associate w. eckists anymore. shed grown up in the backwardness
of
she used to weigh 260 lbs & was/is a volcano of emotion. but now she has cancer & is losing 30lbs a month. she had cancer before & pulled out of it. she wont take any supplements. i guess shes afraid shell be bumped off the mental care system if she does. she gives herself a yr to live. but this is subject to change. she seems quite sane enough to work but our welfare industry likes to expand its clientele. the greater the budget for a dept the greater the salaries
for the admin. our system provides no incentive to reduce welfare rolls. deborahs father was an
problems
getting on. theyre now separated. she asked if she could come live w. me. i said no. i long to live in peace alone in the country. even my rabbit is too much for me at times. i then have to put her in another room. once deb & ric moved into an apt above a bakery. theyd brought cockroaches w. them. the cockroaches got into the flour & dough downstairs. they had to leave. at their new apt the roach man would come once a month but the roaches
only became more robust. one time in church when deb opened her purse a roach got out & ran up to the altar. deb was in hozzie recently for a suicide attempt. upon which immediately she fell in love w. her psychiatrist dr. a man who has no interest in love & tells her not to call. her life is a soap opera. shes written an autobio so shes in the autobio club. i love her oiking. this means pronouncing the long i sound as oy. oy hoyd oynstoyn doyd. oy soyd oy croyd. moy! moy. carly simon: everytoym oy say goodboy oy doy a little. its a jewish trait but the young jews try & sometimes succeed in ridding themselves of it. its still quite prominent in brooklyn. one story that iris kaye told me is that the lithuanian jews are considered by jews to be the smartest. so the nonlitvaks paid reverence to the litvaks by using the stupid sounding oik sound. in
a s(ay) h(a)t s(aw)
b (be) (b)ob
c (see) (c)andy
d (dee)p (d)eer (th)at
e s(ee) f(e)tch
f (eff)ort (f)ort
g (ge)ometry (g)arden
h (h)orse
i (eye) h(i)t
j (jay) (j)ohn
k (kay)
l (el)evate (l)ove
m (em)bark (m)ilk
n (en)joy (n)o so(ng)
o n(o) c(ow) b(o)b & that strictly british short o in g(o)d
p (pi)ano (p)op
q (cue)
r (are) (r)adio
s (es)cape (s)cope (sh)ape (z)any (zee)
t (tee) (t)ree (th)ru
u (you) c(u)p l(oo)k t(oo)
v en(vy) lo(v)e
there is no w
x bo(x) (ex)cuse
y (why) (y)es
there is no zee/zed
3 (zh)ivago
declaration of independence
first paragraph in spln r4m
un in du cors uv humn evnts it bcums nssare 4 1 ppl 2 dsolv du plitcl b&s uic hav cnectd dm wit unudr & 2 usum umun du pors uv du rt du seprt & = stasn 2 uic du las uv nacr & uv nacrs gad ntitl dm u dsnt rspect 2 du opinyns uv mancind recuirs dat da sud dclar du cass uic cmpl dm 2 du seprasn.
the spln r4m version takes 294 strokes & the standard takes 374
heres a language i devised called tinglish. latin/english
the vocabulary is latin. the grammar is english. the first to third syllables of a latin word are used as the stem. verbs end in er for agency t for past tense n for ing l for future. i wont get into the conditional verbs here. the latin equivalents of english helping verbs are used. no inflexions for mood/mode. i / my are ego or e. you / your are tu. he/ his are is. she /
her are ea. we / our are nos. ye / yere (my versions of the plural you & your) are vos. they / their are ea. this is hoc. that is illud. these are haec. those is illa. the is never used. this & that are substitutes for the. who whose & whom are quod.
QUA FACI VOS PENI SORBERS COMPRO HOC
and this fwum bow boe wuh wowtoes. (ae is the a sound in hat). wawwuh was studying whitowhatchoe but not wiwingwee. just as an onwookoe. with the onswot of woke one thing ovowhapping anothoe she was ovoweighedin. hoe ovowode had taken the waywode to see a weewuhtuh who awwuz twide to wio him up w. ovoweighted pwopotease which he didnt wike to wook at wiwingwee. wawwah had ovoswept the nite befoe in the woowoe bwiss of hoe wahjing. on the twain she wowd about wissening to wadeywike wangwij of hoe fewo twaevuwoes. she was dewivvoing a wetto to hoe wawyoe who had wawded his waffoe wife. that nite he was pwanning to wode up on weeks, a wuxuwee foe a widowwaewee guy wike him. he wiked to study caewcuewuss. hed wawwd about his wodging wike the nio. but his witing was howdwee wedge-ibo. this just in from bowbowwuh re my bio: mewhackyouwuss!
why do people w. speech pathologies go into broadcasting. answer: theyre just trying to prove they can do it. it doesnt work. theyve a subconscious cussedness that wont allow them to cooperate w. standard speech which i wouldnt mind if they were honest abt it. theyre passiveaggressives. the world is full of this type of playmate.
another favorite woman of mine was a woman from
episcopalian. i met her at the intervarsity bear trap ranch in
anytime. i adore this type of impractical woman for they are the reverse of mom & pop & other strugglers. ive met impractical young gay males. but for some reason i dont like them. another fave is the above iris kaye of
virgin born. jews dont think he was virgin born. they think he was a bastard. not only so the orthodox think he was the/an antichrist. such is religious hatred/envy. i think iris grandfather was orthodox. she said he ‘covered’ (its funny how orthodox religion wants to cover us from god (i suppose cover us from his wrath) rather than id us w. god) the family w. his spirituality. when i lived in nj id call her &
put on a nerdy voice to get her goat. one cmas day i called her & she asked me why i wasnt doing volunteer work at a hospital. i ask you why would a c scientist be doing work in a hozzie when we believe hozzies do more harm than good. & why would a c'n be working on cmas day. we had
worked together at a newspaper in nj & i was her boss & got her fired. i find jews are more forgiving than c'ns. she still wants me to move into her senior housing project. one time when i didnt leave a message on her machine & after i confessed
she said she didnt deal w. control freaks. this takes a good deal of thought to interpret. i think she meant control freaks dont like to reveal identity more than necessary. we tend to be sneaky. we feel that giving out our names gives power to others. we like to do the phoning for
then we are in control of the timing. once she said dont call me again you rat. she had a reputation for being abusive. i met her at the
lost her temper w. a client once. i did the same in
ive found jews are more forgiving than christians. once she wanted me to rent a car to take her to the airport & i refused. she said friends dont act conditionally. to her a friend is a slave. once
she was worried abt getting her body to the cemetery after she died & asked me if i could help.
i said i had only a bike & it would take time for me to get to the undertaker & to peddle her body 7 mi thru very congested roads to the cemetery. i dont know where we left the conver. nymet is full of zany people. some call them crazy but i love em. i was considered crazy even by many nyers which is quite an honor. crazy comes from the hebrew word meaning to
cry out. thats all a crazy person does is cry out over this & that. were argumentative people. were perfectionists. we want to put things right. were healthy. we dont repress. its the silent ones one has to worry abt. these can be insane. crazy & insane are different & imo seldom
overlap. in '88 in hi
i got tired of the antiwhite racism of hi. a bullet flew over my head while i was lying down on a ridge at the harbor beach in kahalui hi. it was from a filipino gang that was
recruiting members by acting tough. i dont think they wanted to kill anyone. several people had been scare shot at in maui.i talkt to the leftist pervert old woman who
owned the maui paper & she gallantly said they didnt want to spoil race relations by publicising these events. thats right. dont get to the bottom of the problem by looking into it. just ignore it & see if it goes away. this is your nwo at work. so i went to
where i lived 17 ys. i love the directness of nymet people. ipracticed this when i nailed shut w. 5 long spikes a basement window my landlord had left open all nite. we had mouse problems there & i took matters into my own hand. i didnt ask permission. direct action. this is ny/nj in the best tradition. i had wanted to sell my first book in nyc but that book on
geopolitics which changes very
fast. the book was out of date. it was 15 ys old. plus
id become a libertarian
(anarchocapitalist) which completely changed my political outlook. now i was interested not in enlarging govs but in shrinking them to the zero point if possible. the more gov units in the world the better. none was best. or one could say there should be as many states as individuals. this is anarchism. i prefer the term selfgov. but that wont come unless either theres a cataclysm or we evolve away from our belief in gov. as long
as vast numbers of people are getting something for nothing from gov the evolution away from gov is not going to happen unless govs go broke. living in mt is as if there is no gov except for the whims of the children who run the town for no one respects laws here unless its
in ones interest. i live on an indian reserve. it has more whites than reds. my landlord is an indian. he likes to call me a fool when he gets mad at me. i believe in freedom of speech so let him get by w. it. actually we get on very well. i told him it is wise to consider
oneself god. someone was going to make out a check to him & asked him who it should be made out to. he said 'god'. the bank clerks had a lot of fun w. it & cashed it. they didnt make
god endorse the check & make it payable to leroy. he loves to tell women even groups of them dirty jokes.the local flower club should have him as a guest.. i didnt have sewer at my place next to him (a trailer where i lived) so id throw out my sewerage on the lot next to my place. he didnt notice until abt 3 months had passed. the toilet paper gave it away. so all i had to do was put the toilet paper in the garbage & he never noticed anything after that. its funny that we ignore animal scat out in the open but we cant tolerate human scat. must be a primal thing whereby scat is used as a power marker & to see others scat means that they are marking out a territory of supremacy for themselves.the reserve is the flathead reserve. there
are two tribes here. theyre supposed to be the friendliest indians in the us. they dont seem to have casinos. they have a capitalist mentality & sell land to whites & were
given the local power plant by the feds. they run it themselves. if youre white dont apply. this capitalism is a model for other reserves.
most of us want at least a little government to
protect
us until the human race has evolved enough for no gov. thats where the
nanostates come in. i forsee say 300 million nanostates worldwide. but the problem is to keep them from amalgamating. if anyone knows how a nanostate
system could be preserved so that we dont get into a nation state system again or worse a world
state please let me know. i dont want to introduce a war lord system. a device for keeping nanostates small (but not a un or
nato type system)
is needed. we prolly wont know how to do this unless we try nanostates. then the system will fall into place...or not. perhaps a network of people in various neighboring states
would be able to coordinate actions to put things right in the case of a problem cell/nanostate. the idea is to empower individuals. an author writing abt nanostates would be helpful in getting us started.
in 1988 when i got to nyc
i
felt like kissing
the streets.
the blacks there were so much more civilised than the nonwhite hawaiians which is the majority. in
only abt 30% of the population. theres an independence movement in hi. i hope hi will continue to work for independence for i believe the us is a racist structure which is held
together by that & by language & by capitalism. for the time being this is good. the races are
still much too different in morals for there to be harmony. its easy for me to work w. minorities because they have the wrath of the boss to keep them from game playing. but living near them is out for me. being in
the poverty category & having to live near them ive suffered too much. i think we should
have an immigration policy that favors white migra. get rid of the welfare programs & people formerly on welfare will have to do the bottom jobs.this would rob the nwo of its excuse that nonwhites/wogs need to be brought into the country. during the run up to hawaiian statehood there were 2 southern senators who were against hawaiian statehood for the reason of race. they didnt think h'n statehood would work. were they
on target!
love the toughness of new yorkers esp. the jews. its a wonder to study jewish
thoughts/lore. but i hate leftist jews & leftist gentiles. the number of jewish rightists (gov shrinkers) is rising. there wouldnt be a modern right without the jews of the austrian/chicago
school of economics. people like mises hayek friedman greenspan rothbard (an anarchocapitalist) rand hazlitt. like the english, jews are masters at sizing up human
foibles. im
a confirmed misanthropist as these 2 ethnic groups tend to be.
i like suburban
nyc better than the city so i went to nj's
of the us's greatest dumps but it was easy to get into nyc from there by the path train going thru the tunnel under the hudson river. in one apt at journal square i lived in in the next bldg across the air shaft
i saw a man w. a gun in an apt make a demand of
someone. the us is a troubled country. when yanks are asked if theyre happy almost inevitably
they say yes. people dont want to admit theyre not happy. the people w. power are so mesmerised by the nwo that they cant do anything good for us who have so little power. oh the
dangers of concentration of power. i got out of this area immediately. it was the journal (urinal) square area. i moved uptown. i had a landlord who was gay &
liked to go over to the port authority bus terminal
& pick
up 30ish
black men who were looking for sugar daddies. one time there were
5 of them downstairs & the landlord was out & i was scared. he
spent $55,000 on them over the years &
under the former lenient us bankruptcy laws the
amount was erased in 2
minutes by a judge. so i went a little upscale to
immortalised
by
a rock song by billy
joel. its a county
town which means drugs. but along
prospect av there are abt 30 hi rise bldgs
where above average income people live. i was a
door guard at the
where a
couple of famous mafiosi had
lived (honestly i cant
remember
their names). a garbage hauler (haulier is the british word for hauler... garbage haulier. delightful!) client of them lived there while i was
there who i called
a fucking asshole in his presence. doormen shouldnt do this. but im a prophet & in
nymet prophets are tolerated i suppose due to the great jewish population. if id do that here in mt i could be put in jail. a friend of mine in hotspringswas put in jail for a month for 'terroristic
threatening' of a cop. imo terroristic threatening is unconstitutional. but the nwo people want terroristic threatening laws
to subdue us who they think of as goats it would seem. in nj there are plenty of mafiosi. frequently one suspects people of being mafia. its no big deal in ny/nj. they dont go abt killing people for slight reasons. theyre big in labor unions esp in the teamsters. they monopolise garbage hauling franchises
all over the country im told. & then theres the 'protection' racket in small business. i met a guy who was hit up by them who had a little gift shop in hillsdale nj & gave up the business rather than pay up. i met him in mary gormans rooming house in
another bldg over my purposeful indiscretion.
dont we have a wonderful
fbi! of course our gov. uses the mafia for hits. cant stab ones business partners in the
back. lbj used the mafia to kill jfk as e. howard
hunt implies in his predeath tape. i believe it. also i believe lbj ordered the robert kennedy hit. more & more the discourse is going to be lbj as the center of these conspiracies. at the
i met craig lief who became a good friend. in order to opt out of us 'justice' he joined an indian tribe in nd tho he continued to live in nj. he found out joining the tribe was a con game. he lost his joining fee. hes
very right wing (government shrinking....during the impeachment of
believes
the world government movement is well under way & despises it. if you listen to alex jones on worldgov itll scare the shit out of you. hes on the genesis network that is hq’ed in mn of all places. this explains why all
western countries are being forced to accept third world people. the worldgov
conspirators want to blunt nationalism/patriotism. first world (christian) nationalism could
destroy the age old dream of worldgov. the bible warns us of world gov & of human orgs in general. if we feel gov now is unresponsive to us what would worldgov be. human rights would be only on paper not in reality. if they want to win the worldgovers need to mix the world up as much as possible so that people will cry out for a worldwide order which you can be sure will be run by the billionaires. but it would be hard for 1st world people
to accept the vissisitudes of the turd world. that is why the mixing goes on in the lst world. babel is spoken of as an evil polyglot place where confusion reigns. this is just what the bills (billionaires) want. divide & conquer. i really have to laugh at
obsessive worldgovers like both bushes. they have their work cut out
for
them. its not going to be easy. oh by the way please dont mention to
georgie bush that if the muz (muslims) are given privileged status (sharia law) in the worldgov
scheme he bush could avoid wars in the middle east. the muz are looking for supremacy/sharia law worldwide. then if communism were set up as the official
political system the world govers could control us all. but theres a danger to this madness. the bills would have no constituency below them to hold them up. w. good organisation of the
nonbills the nonbills could easily overturn the system. this is the major problem for worldgovers. who would support them. of course thered be the fascist pervs police & military types who like to push people around & kill them. the bills chief goal is to keep all of humanity off balance & divided. but they can do this only as long as the nonbills dont organise. i prefer
my nanostate idea which would have only a networking system to deal w. trouble. no statism above the nanostate level.. craig lief is a gold standard man. i dont believe in the gold standard for it is too expensive for govs to operate. they have to buy lots of gold. where
does the money come from. a much better system is our fiat system. it doesnt cost much to produce the money & if the supply of cash & credit is micromanaged there wont be inflation or deflation). if people want gold for security they can buy gold for themselves. the problem w. our current fiat currency system is that it is private. private people make the huge profit involved in printing & minting currency! if the gov created the money the profit made in
creating it would go into the gov coffers & wed all be better off. theres no perfect monetary system for all systems depend on the honesty of those running the system. you cant have the
managers of any of these systems looting the til. in '95 in hackensack i lived in a rooming house in which lived
a lovely fruity native irish
fellow named phillip o'reilly of killashandra, county cavan (county calvin hahaha...there are lots of prots in county cavan)
ireland. he is 24 ys younger than i. i had no sexual interest in him. i saw him as a pet. that shouldve been my trigger. i shouldve gone off & bought a pet instead of go thru the agony of human bonding.
but after a brief interest in what i had to say (one time we talked for 9 hs straight) he wasnt interested in
me once he found out i was romantically interested in him (i dont blame him...romance is for idiots) & pretended to be on drugs to
get rid of me for i had told him that i believe intoxicants are the worst vice of them all. he had a horror of being seen in public w. me. i guess he thought we might be perceived as a couple. hes very fearful of others & i doubt hell ever get married. he played at being a drug addict & at being sexually involved w. one of the manets (young men) of the house. not one to be outdone i reported him
to the wonderful fbi. he mustve been
clean. nothing happened. our landlord came i think from the same county as phileep as i called him & said that he was raised so strict hed never even tried smoking. that strict upbringing resulted in phileeps narcissism.
imo narcissism is not worship of self but great fear of others. since i had our mutual friend heather lightbody of nj (who was somewhat a fat body) tell him of me reporting him he hasnt talked to me. irish never forget their enemies not even the dementia patients. the irish love to hold onto anything even
remotely smacking of an injustice. theyre gluttons for injustice. whiners, crybabies. i still send him valentines. last valentine i told
him hes in this autobio. i wonder
if hell ask to see it.
after this disaster (i should form a demolition company) in
frank sinatra & arthur godfrey lived early in their lives. for 10.5 ys i
lived
in a 3 unit house w. a ding-ey landlord gordon hiltbold who didnt keep the place
up. but the rent was cheap. it is an upscale town w. 24 computers in its library. there was a very smarmy brazilian martin eckroth & his
wife
living there. i constantly criticised them abt leaving
outside doors open so mice could get in. they loved getting under my skin. also to them window & door screens were silly affairs that gringoes believed in so their apt mustve been filled w. bugs. they were white brazilians but they had some of the ways of the turd world. mr. smarmy loooooooves to get under
ones skin so he can look soooooo cool & powerful. but i managed to rattle him twice. i kept attacking him. to get back at me
they accused me of being sexually interested in their daughter even though
they
knew i was gay. i had tried to teach the daughter multiplication. this gave them the idea i was interested in the daughter sexually. the daughter was very spoilt & i avoided her as much as possible. but i thought the math nexus would give us something to talk abt. i like to teach math. im beginning
to think that the only place to live if one wants to be sane is rural areas far from all people & alone. it seems that when human bodies congregate there are always problems. i love to
communicate w. people long distance. otherwise stay away from me. i have as little to do w. as few people as possible. i like short 2 person convers though. all people are crazy if not insane. ive never yet lived in a rural area even though ive lived in 13 states & 2 foreign countries. if rural doesnt work i might try the
wilderness. but im afraid of the bears & wolves that the perverts (people w. unresolved father problems) have worked tirelessly to introduce to the 48. if there were a national referend on bear & wolf reintroduction policy what do you think the outcome would be. i was happy to hear that the
iniquitous fedgov has relaxt the rules on killing wolves. i believe all noxious animals species should be killed as is happening anyway due to evolution. lions & tigers are on life support. so are snakes in
highly inhabited areas. but the deadliest of all mosquitoes are thriving. they must be put out of existence. it was during my time in has. hts.,
the turn of the millenium that i came back to a belief
in god. in the early 80s under the influence of the
atheist & capitalist ayn
rand (all of my beliefs seem to stem from a traditional sense of morality & therefore gives them a cohesiveness) &
because i had studied so many religions & got myself confused i went into
atheism lite just to take a
breather from the confusion. in 2000 i started
researching
bigfeet & read of their supernatural powers. i had a born again friend conrad knutsen from the mpls tribune that cut me off because i said that bigfeet had brought me back to belief in god. apparently he thought bigfeet were too lowly to bring one back to a belief in god. like most people connie thinks one must go thru the right channels. theres a good deal of manicdepression in the born again movement.. a wonder hes not rc. humanity is crazy. bigfeet convinced me to go back
to a
belief in the
supernatural. supposedly they can change their energy to a higher quantum level & thus disappear from view (blink out) even tho theyre still present. brush parts at their passing & one can
hear their footfalls but one sees nothing. supernatural or natural, neither position answers the question of how or why the universe came about. the universe was made because i god am in an expansion project. at about the same time i came
in touch w. the advaita idea that
we are god & that really spoke to my
heart. this was
christian science only bolder. in fact c. science is based on this advaita idea. mrs.eddy the founder of cs had access to advaita hinduism
but she softpedalled the we are god
idea &
reincarnation as being too radical for the westerners of her day. rather, she
called us children of god & left the reincarnation idea alone. yet the cs idea that god is soul (the only one existant) forces the idea that we are soul & therefore god. show me a religion that doesnt have inconsistencies. i intend that my religion will have none after ive completely hashed it over. cs comes
from advaita but the cs
church
wont admit it. cs should be called hindu science. twice ive written the cs church on whether their reporter who was captured by muz terrorists & forced to wear a head scarf was converted & if she still wears the head scarf. no response. typical of orgs. ive been disappointed by organised religion
too many times to join any. the
tipping point came in 1978 when a pentecostal
woman pastor dena lange
in her home church in
out. it was a day of liberation. 15 march 78. the ides of march. the rcc
does this in its
confirmation (1st communion)
services when the bishop
performs the alapa (slap). its the last time (1978) i took organised religion seriously. the pastor dena lange (she didnt like the title pastor/preferred worker.........prolly cuz paul didnt allow women pastors) had
been in the british union
of fascists
& her husband bernhard lange (st. bernard)
in hitlers
youth movement. when
i dont have any brainstorm
in the works i revert
to math. its a place i love to be. i wish i were back in that calm a mood again. but i got myself in the soup by coming to mt. i used to hate this place. its a small town of small minds. i
moved to the country where i like it much better. funny how an 8 mi. move can change ones heart. the
must
be like our eternal state of just being conscious of our existence. this is true peace. try being conscious of your own existence as a meditation. get away from others. its very strengthening/centering. i can do it in short bursts only because my mind is so active. this is called the monkey mind. but i like it. 'experts' on medit warn to silence the monkey mind. but that is
repression. the monkey mind is the minds way of resolving all the confusion created by conversing w. others.
in 2006 i moved to
in order
to get cheaper
rent & to be visited by a
bigfoot. the latter hasnt happened yet. im looking for a farm near a woods where some
bigfoot may be living. i bought a trailer & will find a farm to put it on. leroy says hes willing to sell me the trailer im in now for $300. i know 2
sisters the robbins sisters who lived 15 mi.
south of butte & 3.5 mi. from a bigfoot family. they rescued a bf youth who
had got caught in some rocks. they roped a rock & pulled the rock away so it could get loose. many
times a bigfoot disabledtheir generator or hauled it off a distance. after they hollered at it, it quit. i suppose it didnt like the noise.
then theres a lady here shirley leah who was instructed by a family of bigfeet when she
was a kid at
acreage there & there was a woods in the back from which the bigfeet emerged. they always live in woods or caves in woods. they told her abt their way of life. how they placed spruce
branches upside down to lie on. coasttocoastam.com is the radio show that deals in the paranormal incl bigfeet. its broadcast in the us & can 7 days a wk for 4 hs per show. if you have trouble sleeping this is the show for you. in our town tony beavers saw
a bf near here (mission mtn. mt) while riding in a car w. his mom. he believes he is jc. he gets 2 gold stars from me. one for bigfoot, one for iamgod. he just got out of a penitentiary. hes a paranoid schizo. i think
schizophrenia has a justifiable essence. it has its uses. if not so extreme that it makes us disfunctional it can alert us to dangers. i think einstein was abt a 5 on the paranoid/schizo scale. jc was hi on the scale. its amazing how we are all balanced between the good & the bad at
this point in l'histoire. but we mustnt be past the midpoint between the downward & the upward pulls for our defaults seem to be downward. wouldnt it be wonderful if we had to fight to be evil. it is hard to be really evil. but just slouchy evil is too easy. anyone who would get too good now would be put to death immediately or would live as a recluse. to a large extent we are evil
for protective coloration. we know how smart school kids have to use the ruse of not being very smart in order to avoid trouble from their lesser classmates. theres so much evil that comes
from forced education. along w. the home & neighborhood, school is the birthplace of bullyism. our town cop has a brother in law who saw a bf in
near the pacific coast. while living in nj i talked to 9 people on the phone around the country who had seen them. one of these people dick robinson
was the person who got the concept for the grizzly
that bigfeet dont appear to him in the physical cuz he wants to photograph them. when he was young he lived w. some indian women in humboldt co ca who showed him a spear that they said they got from some bigfeet they had traded w. hes really disgusted that hes been chasing them
most of his life & still doesnt have pictures. science requires specimens. pictures arent good enough for they can be tampered w. ive reached the point where im done w. chasing the
paranormal. if i live in the country that in itself will be it own reward. if i meet a bf it will be a bonus. ill stick w. essence (my being god) rather than w. phenomena (psychic experiences). when im developed enough in consciousness ill get the phenomena (seeing in the higher energy realms). the cascade range of the pacific coast is the premier place in the world to
see bigfeet. im abt 300 mi from it.
the robbins sisters wont give me the precise location where they lived, which is typical of
bigfooters. they dont like to share
their experiences. bigfooters always say
they want to protect bf privacy which im sure is valid. but i think lots of bigfoot experiencers are afraid the bf will find out who sends trackers & will get back at such blabbermouths. theres always
been a taboo against talking abt bigfeet a fear that they will avenge any impious talk abt them. bigfeet are perhaps the most paranoid of all creatures. indians think its bad luck to see one. well yes
if it gives one a heart attack it is. but ive read so much abt them that ive lost lots of fear of them. theyll show themselves when they & i are ready. but bigfeet cant run from humans forever.
they will soon have to develop a working rig w. humans. im very frustrated right now. this
move to the nw where ive never lived before & to a small town has been quite a challenge to me. one excellent thing abt this part of the country is that after one has sneezed the people abt one
dont say god bless you. thats one thing i hate abt the east. its pure superstit. the senior bus people wont let me ride the bus unless i sign an affidavit that i wont talk politics or religion
on the bus. one of the staff of the bus co once boasted abt how many people have been banned from the bus. i guess little people have to get off on some little power they have. good thing jc or thomas
2 have contacted the bus co. but that solved nothing. our system is broken. its broken by the
design of the nwo which started kicking in in 47. i remember tom complaining abt that time abt how blacks had to be sold houses they bid highest on. ive never before lived in a small town for any
length of time. here on can drop in on people unannounced as we did in big towns 50 ys ago. im hoping i will learn the dynamics of small towns in order to comprehend how my nanostate system would work. ive lost interest in all the other parties. ive voted once
since '96. ive askt one of my congressmen to work to repeal the first amendment since it isnt observed anymore. ive come to steady state sarcasm in dealing w. politicians. when i was in nj i
wrote abt 7 emails to my 'squeaky clean' houser (mousy houser would be a good name for stevo) steve rothman abt outlawing agricultural poisons & got not one response. on
membership list or drives. no dues. no meetings. no incorporation. its a virtual network.
im sitting in
awaiting direction on how to get a place in the country. direction comes from the imagin & from contacts. but even my imagin has been letting me down so far. i think i need more time to adjust to the nw. i was thinking of going to the north slope of
honey would survive the cold. in the cold of
theosophy. it is hinduism/buddhism (these are called the dharmic religions) to a large extent. in
prehistory of the earth. these are pre adamic times. hinduism was revealed by
vibrations (the shubda brumn)
from
heaven
which inspired mankind to form oral & much later written accounts of their
experiences w. the vibrations. i dont believe the conventional wisdom that highly articulated speech can precede highly articulated written language. i believe all unwritten languages come from written languages. only the most basic body gestures & grunts can be of any use. our symbolic brain processing is much more articulate than body language and grunts. hinduism imo is the original & best
religion
as long as the great amount of its junk is discarded. currently hinduism is a dungheap of silly practises & beliefs many of which were absorbed from the prearyans of
reincarnation that i approve of. the non killing of cows goes back only to ca. 700 ad. animal sacrifice is barbaric even when jews do it. many indian states have banned it. for the jains
of
this concept of not killing mosquitoes has been pickt up by the super seeeeeeensitive worldwide.so hindus who are meat eaters let the dalits (the untouchables) do the killing. hypocrisy. hinduism seems to mop up prohibitions from anywhere they can except of course christianity and judaism. the british were much too nice during their raj. ive
never heard any thanks from hindus for what the brits did. but plenty of complaints. one complains of those one doesnt fear. one hears very few
complaints against the muz. prohibitions make people feel righteous & they aid in social networking for people build up respect w. each other by telling others how strict they are. we all do
this. in writing this autobio im telling the WHOLE story of my life. in 74 after my intense
frustration w. john heim & having just come home from a pentecostal meeting & burnt $333 dollars in an ashtray as a testimony of me not relying on money to achieve some sort of goal wrt j heim. at the time i didnt know it was a crime to burn currency. id seen the hippies in ny throwing around fake money & i think read abt them burning fake or real money. of course now the feds are trying to get rid of the dollar by deflating it so that the herd can be persuaded to accept the amero currency for the whole of n.
told the concept of shiva & the million or so other silly subgods (i consider them to be parodies of god......god is only god in the fulness of virtues) is derived from the settlers in
preceded the aryans. the silly practise of encouraging beggars makes beggars out of say 10% of the population. the line goes that it helps ones karma to give to these parasites. it helps the parasites for they arent capable of earning their own living. theres a real aura of sanctity surrounding this practise. the practise of keeping women separate from
men was picked up from the muz. this encourages homosexuality. birth control is a better way of controlling the pop than h'y. kathryn mayo has written a splendid expose of the degradations of hinduism in her book called mother
the plague of communist correctness took hold. as religions get old they pick up accretions from whereever. no thought is given to the rationality of them. i wish each religion would employ a logician to make a rational system out of each religion. this would mean that there would
be one central concept that none of the subconcepts could contradict. even the we are god concept has been corrupted. there are hindus who equate the universe w. god & posit that there is no spiritual universe as an addition to the material one. these hindus are atheists but like to be known as
wearegodders. atheism has a cold feel to it. even some of the latter emphasise the ritual bullshit of the religion & forget about its crowning jewel--wearegod. of course all religions have their phonies.
people use religion for social acceptance. the time of
the heavenly vibrations is lost in the distant past. did other tribes of people get the same vibes. maybe they did & just didnt know how to express them. maybe the vibes didnt really
come. i choose to believe they did. its a grand thought & i like to accept such. maybe these vibes inspired all cultures w. a knowledge of god. and we dont know to what tribe (the
predecessors of the current hindus)
the vibes came. some say the
sythians. i doubt it. they were too primitive. the only thing of
hinduism i accept is the we are god idea,
reincarnation & the akashic records (the records of our lives........i want to be able to see what ive come thru from time to time........thats why im writing this autobio. imo the
abrahamic
religions (judaism christianity islam) were started in
order to galvanise mankind into action. w. their teaching of hell they have a way of making people uncomfortable. this causes progress. hinduism/buddhism
are
too passive (w. their belief we are all god/buddha). but i believe in the long run
everyone will return
to the 2 principal ideas of hinduism as i have described. i like the bible as a run up to wearegod. the bible is crystal clear in its demonstration of good v. evil. hinduism buddhism & theosophy delve into
conditions of the afterlife something the bible is weak in. theosophy goes into the
vast prehistory (long before bible history starts) of man & of the planet.
one kicker is that heaven (they call it
devachan) is only the 3rd (not the final)
consciousness (god is
the 7th & final consciousness)
& therefore heaven
is only temporary, between reincarnations. its a place of
emotional/intellectual recharging. this makes sense
for ive found
that bliss is always followed by
burnout. in other words the heaven of c'y couldnt be true for wed
soon burn out. do you imagine god to be in a state of bliss always. i dont. the
consciousness of being
god is a very balanced thing. balance is a
very
good
lesson to learn. godliness is balance. i dont summarise c'y as love for love is often very unbalanced/manic. the romantic tradition started in the middle ages & began the long slide down to the modern idea of love.
the famous rudolf
steiner founder of anthroposophy was a theosophist & left it to
found
a'y. the theosophical soc.
still prints his books. how is this for
forgiveness, christians. theosophy has no
creed. i like that! if anyone has any comment id be glad to publish it in this book. here are my various brainstorms. http://www.blogger.com/profile/1149642292323425084. heres my online photoalbum http://web.telia.com/~u48507949/
comments can be sent to hawkuu aaaaaaaaaaaat gmail.com
im now in camas prairie mt. its 9 mi from hotsprings. im on a buddhist ranch of 6000 acres. monday am i accidently got 20’ from a yearling black bear. i took off back to my trailer. as i was leaving off to the left i saw the mother standing on her hind legs watching me from abt 200’ away. i was abt 400’ from my trailer & made record time in getting back_
the ranch is buddhist & i think of them as being strong on the environment. but theres a good deal of spraying. there is residue of pesticide near the car barn on the property that gives out a sickly smell. were making the world into a toxic waste dump. i wrote my houser from nj 7 times on banning ag poisons & he wouldnt even acknowledge my mail. he presents himself as a squeaky clean haimish jewish boy. huh!
speaking of smell ive i reputation for smelling bad esp. w. people who dont like me and generally these are women. jackie kington complains of a urine smell. ive an enlarged prostate which im working on metaphysically. bill gates used to have body odor but i suppose his wife hoses him down from time to time now hes married.
i call the prez elect hussein to stress his muz background. i deplore you white sinistrists (leftists) for your lack of race pride, your antiwhite racism
hussein will get only opposition from me
he has overreached
let him go to a mulatto or black country & make a career there
a good place to go for bigfoot news is http://www.bigfootencounters.com/
in 1996 henry macdougal saw a bigfoot 2 air miles from where i live
zella lassaw fisher saw bigfeet twice once at dog lake & once at camas prairie where i live
at one of the sightings she & her brothers saw a group of bigfeet. the brothers tried to follow the bigfeet but there was snow up to their chests
in 1975 the indian red crow family were having a picnic a few mi. from my place when a bigfoot came out of the woods & killed their yapping small dog. bigfeet don’t like dogs. another reason i like bigfeet. Next day mr. magerison of plains,mt brought his airedales to see if he could rouse the bigfoot but the dogs just quivered outside the woods. bigfeet are the kings of the woods. even if beset by a pack of wolves a bf can blink out of sight, teleport away or levitate or possible shape shift
i was planning to move to the cascades. its ground zero for bigfeet. but i heard joel skousen the survivalist say that our faithful shadow gov. is trying to entice russia or china to nuke seattle
twice an acquaintence of mine coyote carry has taken me to dog lake so name for dogs having gone missing there. bigfeet don’t like dogs. on 20 4 09 we got 3 mi in on dupuis road & i left some carrots as a peace offering. but I believe bigfeet from the north go s. in winter & don’t come back til say june. so I plan to hold back til then
ive run into another lead. It’s the 2 reservoirs behind lone pine mt. its abt 15 mi from my place. denise kronkrights husband skip walter is dead now but saw them there twice
people here take bf sightings in their stride & many of them think bf seers are imagining
theres an account of a fisherman near troy mt who rescued a bf baby from a ledge & handed it up to the level ground & looked up to see the mother. a black man from whitewater mt whose first name is isaiah gives the account
marie wheeler used to have one come up to her kitchen window & watch her wash dishes. this was at dog lake mt
marlene bourdons (mission mt) father was clawed by a bf & kept the scar til his dying day
marlene picked me up hitchhiking feb 10 & told me abt seeing a bf taking a dust bath abt 3 mi from my trailer
an indian isaac rozeau told me abt a shaman who lives in the vanderburg range within my view to the s. the shaman sings a very specific indian song which calls the bf to him. these bf are able to cure cancer as jack lapseritis avers in his book psychic sasquatch
my biography pt 4 is at: http://mybiographypt4.blogspot.com
hebrew to english cognate candidates https://docs.google.com/document/d/12qpbdaSTpm-vYQwdXS75jBq9a6mLdvBMOGKjekT7pnE/edit
